I figure I'm too playful for my own good.
Apparently I fit the Gemini mold well.
I guess that benefits from the fact that I'm not a business owner.
I'd handle my promotions through a raffle or a bingo tournament.

Generally, I'm not allowed to speak at weddings.
There was one.
My best friends' wedding.
I managed to hint at enough trouble we've had together during my speech that it merited a glare from the wifey.
Probably one of my favorite wedding photos ever.

The following are a few choice toasts I've compiled over the years as a wedding singer/friend:

- Every successful man loves to think that he has done it all himself; the wife smiles, an' let's it go at that.
- Home... where a woman puts up with her husband.
- There's only one thing for a married man to do who is married to a woman that enjoys spending money... that is to enjoy earning it.
- To marriage. It halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.
- I figure marriage is the only venture open to the cowardly.
- To marriage, a legalized way of suppressing free speech.
- Good ol' marriage, the high seas for which no compass has been invented.